I'm a squeaky wheel
Who speaks evil of snakes & weasels
If you say please I'll
Plug your measly blog to all these people
See everyone's a cheerleader
And nobody's a critic
No report about the train wreck
Everyone was in it

This DJ made me fire Cory Layton then unfollow him from Twitter
Just to have one of my rap songs be considered
For a little online local music contest
The winner gets the privilege of selling 50 tickets to a dinner
And a concert, now I'm bitter cuz I didn't win it I found out
You can't get very far unless you are the highest bidder
Don't call them out just let them go and carry out their schemes
Regurgitate that bio, local journalist you're burying the lead


Ah here we go again it's this guy grabbing the mic?
He's so white so I'm panicking right
Bet half of his life has been spending pacifist nights
Him manage a fight? Nah he's never knuckled in his life
Where's the street cred? This guy is so effeminate
His offbeat nasally tone, there's no defending it
And while we're mentioning what's up with the chains and locks?
It's a shame to watch, I'm saying just stop

And not for nothing, I bet he's on the low though
I know he's never in his life said "No Homo"
Yo, yo, must like to show off his figure too
Tight clothes, skinny jeans, haircut like Hitler Youth
That's not enough reason alone, well beyond these
This dude's only on, cuz he's down with Neon Trees
The name's Apt and the picture's incomplete
They sound so daft when they're burying the lead


Provo's not the next Seattle, Brooklyn or next anything
But it's not something to be apologized for in SLUG Magazine
Or hidden from your bio, let me fact check your resume
I'll proudly rep this town & all the friends I've made

And since the university without diversity assigns these
Naive writers to its local culture beat
In the Daily Universe we see the same old boring
Surface-skimming stories quarterly

Maybe if you dug a little deeper and wrote more you'd see
This town for what it is: Dopest local scene per capita
But the fact that you don't recognize it is the very reason I'm attacking you

Like Bleeding Gums Murphy's fate come fall
If you're sleeping on 100 block consider this your wakeup call